Torn in Two
by PurpleLittleLady
Summary: She had always been there for him and now he is finally willing to give her a chance. But what about the one that's always been there for her? It's time to choose between the man she nearly died to protect and the man that nearly died to protect her. NejiHinaNaru. Decided to change the events of a certain chapter.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or these characters.

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Prologue

Blood rushing.

Heart pounding.

Breaths panting.

Hinata closed her eyes tightly as she muffled her cry in his shoulder, her back arched up and her nails dug into his skin. Pleasure exploded everywhere, flashing through her body like electricity, prolonged by his short and fast thrusts. It took her several moments for awareness to even come back to her, thoughts too difficult to form just yet. Her body was still being manipulated, gripped to mold her hips and legs into positions eliciting the greatest pleasure for him. She found herself raking her nails down his sweaty back to grab his backside in a firm grip. He moaned softly above her, bending his neck to whisper her name in her ear, a sign that he was almost at his limit. With her inner muscles still spasming from her orgasm and her hands still on his firm glutes, she whispered to him, knowing it was usually her voice to that sent him crashing over the edge.

"You don't know how often I think of you. Of the things you do to me…and how they make me feel." She softly spoke in his ear, keeping her words slow, still speaking even when he groaned against her neck as his muscles suddenly locked above her. Lifting her hips she continued rocking against him, helping him ride out his orgasm before he collapsed, spent.

She sighed contently as she grazed her nails lightly up his back before embracing him, reveling as long as she could in the afterglow. Without removing himself out of her, he wrapped his arm around her waist and shifted them both so that he was on his back, her legs still straddling his hips. They didn't speak, both too exhausted and unwilling to dispel the intimate air between them. She smiled slightly, though, when she felt him trace invisible patterns on her shoulder, but her smile turned sad as she felt their moment ending. She couldn't help wishing in her heart…that it was a different man tracing patterns in her skin.

Without a word, without a glance, he stared up at the ceiling above them. He nearly counted down to the very second when she lifted her body off of his, making her way to her bathroom to shower. He sighed deeply before sitting up, raking his hand through his hair wondering why he always found himself in the same situation. It appeased him, though, to know that it wasn't always him seeking her out. Dressing quickly, he left her room and made his way down the hall, reminiscing about how their complicated mess started.

_The thought had never even crossed her mind about his feelings until the war, when he nearly died on the battlefield protecting her and Naruto. It was never his intension for her to find out, he would have died happily knowing that he gave his life for the ones most dear to him, his feelings forever hidden. But afterwards, in the hospital on the road to recovery, she had cried, asking him why he didn't just protect Naruto. Why was he willing to die, to suffer for her? Though he didn't give voice, he had lightly caressed her fists for a moment and allowed his eyes to betray his heart. When he pulled his hand back, she had only cried more._

_He was grateful to her afterwards. Despite the powerful knowledge he imparted to her, she made sure that their relationship remained the same, close friends, close comrades, close family members. It didn't change until the day that Naruto finally achieve one of his lifelong goals, attaining the heart of Haruno Sakura. He had been in her room, holding her in his arms as she wept. After the Chuunin exams, he had worked hard to be the one she turned to for comfort, to help repair the damage done to their relationship. But as the years had gone by, he found himself with a pure desire to just be there for her._

_Once her tears had finally ceased, she remained in his arms with her face buried in his neck, too exhausted to move. He remembered feeling shock swirling with disbelief when he felt her lips lightly caressing his skin. His body felt frozen, unsure of what he was feeling was unintentional or deliberate. It wasn't until she dragged her lips, with her mouth slightly open; up his neck to just below his chin did he truly recognize what she thought she wanted._

"_I k-know what I'm asking of you i-isn't fair, but…" she had left her whispered sentence hang in the air when he had pulled himself away from her, her face lighting up to a bright red. "I can't love you like I love him."_

_Her statement was so soft that he barely heard her. She, at that moment, was the very essence of vulnerability. So many times he had seen her stripped down to nothing but her heart in her hands, watching as those she cared about, including himself, ripped through her like a tornado. But she had always had Naruto to look at, to shine a light as she picked up the pieces of her broken self. What was he to do now that her source of light had been the one to cause the darkness? How was he to inspire her to pick up the pieces, especially when he wanted her the way he did? He didn't know. But where she was, offering. It wasn't her heart she offered him, but her body, a shadow of what he truly desired. It was the cruelest thing she could have ever done._

"_But you're not asking for love are you Hinata?" he stated rather than asked. Without his meaning to, he gathered her back into his arms and leaned his face down until his lips lightly touched her ear. "And I am not expecting any."_

Stepping out of the shower Neji dried himself and slipped on his sleeping yukata, making his way to his cold and empty bed. Lying down he stared up at the ceiling with his hands behind his head. It had been over a year since that first night and he knew without a doubt that he claimed a piece of her heart. A piece that wasn't reserved for friends or family, but…other. He still was the first one she turned to for comfort, though not always in this manner. He knew all her secrets and she would quietly listen to him when he felt the rare need to tell her his. But they were sure to never give away this secret they held together.

Neji suddenly frowned as he thought about their friends, or two in particular. It was obvious to all of them that Naruto and Sakura's relationship was heading towards an end and soon. He wondered what would happen then? Would she end their trysts? She had tried a few times. He would respect her decisions, knowing that in this aspect of their relationship, she was given free reign. He stopped seeking opportunities when she was alone and no longer visited her at night. He treated her exactly how he did prior to their involvement, self-control second nature to him and denial of his desires a practice he had long mastered. The first time she had lasted two weeks before he found her in his room, face red with embarrassment and shame. The second time only a week had gone by, after her week long mission. The third time, she had found him in the woods training, mere hours later. It was the last time she had tried to end it.

He wondered, in retrospect, if he never objected to their parting because he knew that she would come back to him? The object of her love was still out of reach and there had been no one else who was willing, or even had the knowledge, to replace him. He provided an outlet for her frustrations, sexual and emotional, as well as the opportunities to play out her fantasies, to pretend it was someone else. Though he knew she never did, for it was always his own name that she would sigh or moan; he was grateful for that.

Fate had always been cruel to him; taking away his father, turning his boyish crush into hatred, giving him the sin of nearly killing one he was meant to protect, falling in love with a woman who devoted her life to another man, and then giving him her body without her heart. What was fate going to do now? Will Naruto finally realize that the woman who understood him the most, the woman who loved him the most, was the one woman Neji could never have?

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AN: So, I'm assuming that this would be considered an AU since I have decided to change chapter 614. NejiHina are my absolutely fave pairing, I can't just NOT think of stories for them anymore. So this is inspired by 'Clarity' by Zedd ft. Foxes, though as I was writing this it occurred to me that 'She Will Be Loved' by Maroon 5 works too. Was thinking of making it an amv actually, but due to my lack of a good video editing software program and that an amv just wouldn't go deep enough, I decided to try my hand at writing what was in my head. Still trying to figure out a plot, so please forgive me if I am slow at updating. I've got two other multifics swirling around in my head.


	2. Chapter I

Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters are not owned by me...or else it would've been VERY different.

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Breathing slowly, she concentrated on her body, her proprioception vital to her fighting style. She could feel her muscles beginning to burn from being in the same position for several minutes. When her legs and arms began to tremble, ready to collapse, she slowly, inch by inch, moved into the next position. Her limbs were fluid in their movements, graceful yet full of strength. She kept a constant layer of chakra covering her body as well as a collection of it in both of her hands. She was not sparing anyone at the moment, just working meticulously on her technique, so there was no point in wasting any more chakra.

Opening up her senses, she felt around the small vacant clearing for any chakra signatures. Though her eyes were closed and her Byakugan dormant, she was still very much on guard, a sign of a seasoned shinobi. But she was alone, only her thoughts to occupy her. Behind her eyes, the usual picture of a blond man, except this time he was not smiling happily at her. His head was resting on his hands, looking down at the ground. Everything about his posture, the tenseness of his muscles, revealed the depression he was feeling. The war had changed her, there was no way she could just stand there and watch him suffer without going to help, to support him.

"Naruto-kun?" she had called to him hesitantly, unsure if he would welcome her presence. He didn't look up at her right away, so wrapped up in the chaotic thoughts storming through his mind. But when he did, he was able to summon enough strength to produce a small yet sad smile for her.

"Hey Hinata-chan." He said in a dejected voice, making her heart pound with sympathy towards him. She walked closer and sat down next to him on the bench, hoping he would not turn her away. She didn't ask him what was wrong, she could guess; try as they might, it was common knowledge that Naruto and Sakura were having problems. But she didn't want to force him to talk to her, so she just sat silently next to him. She knew from experience that sometimes, one just needed the comfort of having a loved one nearby. He already knew that she supported him; there was no need to voice it again.

Naruto breathed a silent and relieved sigh; he didn't really want to talk to anyone at the moment. It was difficult enough to sort through all the emotions he was feeling let alone trying to explain them all to another person. But he supposed that he shouldn't have been surprised that she didn't ask him any questions. Her support for him had consistently been quiet, subtle, and calming. She never really asked anything of him or held any expectations, she had invariably just accepted and supported. He had always liked that about her, despite the fact that, to this day, she was still an enigma to him. He never really knew what she was thinking, what the driving force was behind her decisions, but he knew without a doubt that she would be a good friend to him.

"I bought an engagement ring last month." He found himself saying softly. Hinata's heart squeezed painfully in her chest, finding it difficult to breathe, at his admission. She had no idea that he had done such a thing. Shock rendered her speechless and panic set her mind in a whirl; she didn't know what to think.

"I've been waiting for the right time to ask her, ya know." Naruto continued, his hands clenching into fists. "Do you know what she said to me today?...'Naruto, I think we should take a break from each other.'"

The panic slowly started to ebb away as the rest of his words started to permeate her mind. Despite their official relationship status, things did not look as different as they were beforehand. Naruto's feelings for Sakura were stronger than Sakura's feelings for Naruto. Hinata wasn't quite sure how to feel about this information. On the one hand, Sakura was inadvertently giving her a chance to grow closer to Naruto. But on the other, Naruto was obviously still very much in love with Sakura. Additionally, she cared deeply for both Naruto and Sakura, not wanting either of them to suffer or endure pain.

"Do you think she regrets going out with me?" Naruto asked aloud, his voice void of emotion. "Because I'm not Sasuke?"

"Naruto-kun." Hinata whispered his name, lifting her arm and laying it on his shoulder. She didn't know what to say to him, she had no idea what the purpose was behind Sakura's decision. She wished that she could tell him that that wasn't the reason why Sakura wanted a break, but she didn't know if she would be lying to him…and that would be the worst thing possible for her to do. She felt his shoulder begin to tremble as tears slowly fell down his face, sprinkling the ground. Hinata bit her lip to stop herself from crying as well, she hated seeing him like this.

Standing she moved to face him and without a word, she trailed her fingers in his messy blond hair before gently and slowly pulling his head towards her stomach. He heaved a sob before lifting his arms up and wrapping them around her waist, pressing his face into her. She closed her eyes, one hand rubbing his back while the other clutched him to her. Though his sobs were silent, they shook his entire frame with their force.

A presence tickled her senses lightly in her mind. Opening her eyes, Hinata gazed over to her left and there in the distance, standing alone was Neji. His pale gaze was intense, indiscernible but it set her heart racing. Regret and shame washed over her, yet she knew that there was nothing wrong with comforting a friend in pain. She didn't have any ulterior motives; she genuinely just wanted to be here for him, to be the one he leaned his head against while he cried. She would have, and has, done the same for Neji when he came back from a rough mission. Her gaze was unwavering as she continued to stare back at her cousin, willing him to understand.

"Hinata?" a surprised feminine voice exclaimed. Hinata whipped her head around to come face to face with the one who broke the heart of the man she was comforting at the moment.

"Sakura." Hinata whispered, immediately pulling herself away from Naruto's arms. He looked up at her confused, tears still coming down his cheeks, though they had been slowing down.

"Sakura? What…"

"I came to see if you were…ok." She replied softly, wrapping her arms around herself and looking away, feeling bad. Hinata nibbled her lip, unsure of what do to or say. Should she leave without saying anything? Should she stay to support him? Would he welcome her presence or want their privacy? Twisting her fingers together in the ensuing silence, Hinata watched Naruto stare at Sakura, wiping the tears from his face. Sighing deeply, Hinata gently touched his shoulder, once again gaining his attention. She smiled at him as she squeezed his shoulder.

"Naruto." She said his name softly, before looking up at the pink haired woman. "Sakura."

She turned to her left, to where Neji had stood gazing at the two of them, her path now empty. She wondered what else Naruto and Sakura were going to talk about. Would he tell her of the ring he had bought for her? Would she tell him that she changed her mind and wanted him back? Would they end their relationship? Would they decide to try and work things out? Hinata could feel her heart slowly fall apart, crumbling into pieces. She couldn't go back home, she _wouldn't_ seek him out. With tears falling from her eyes she suddenly sprinted to her favorite abandoned training site. Rushing straight towards a wooden dummy she immediately started to blindly punch and kick it, anger making her moves sloppy yet fierce. Anger at Sakura for hurting Naruto, anger at Naruto for never once giving her a chance, but she knew that the core of her anger was towards herself.

_How could you!?_ She screamed at herself, feeling the wood beginning to splinter under her fists. She had never been so selfish before, but he encouraged it. Every caress whispered for her to indulge, every kiss told her that it was ok to be close to him this way, every gasp bespoke of how much she wanted this. Hinata lifted her leg to kick and found herself falling over, exhaustion making her limbs heavy. She didn't know how long she sat on the ground crying, it felt like hours, but when she started to calm down and finally look around herself there was still light in the sky. Wiping the tears from her face, she slowly stood and closed her eyes, moving her body into the first position for Juken. She might as well try to get some decent training if she was going to stay out here for a while, calming down.

Breathing slowly, she concentrated on her body, her proprioception vital to her fighting style. Opening up her senses, she felt around the small vacant clearing for any chakra signatures. With difficulty, no thanks to the furious beating she had unleashed on the wooden dummy, she finished the first series of positions. She was contemplating on moving on to the next form when she heard someone land softly behind her. Her Byakugan immediately activated, chakra gathered in her hands, as she whirled around to attack. She gasped when her hand was blocked and redirected and in a flash she found her back pinned to the wooden dummy.

"Neji." She breathed, deactivating her Byakugan instantly.

"Trying to kill me now?" Neji asked, his voice hard but amused. She looked at him with shock, as her face flamed from embarrassment.

"N-no!" she exclaimed, looking at his face, devoid and stoic. He still had one hand pinning hers off to the side and the other still pressing her against her shoulder. Leaning forward, he brought his body close, feeling the warmth of hers without touching. Lowering his head, he lightly grazed her ear with his lips.

"Am I no longer any use to you now that Naruto and Sakura are separating?" He whispered, letting go of her shoulder only to slowly unzip her jacket. His question was cruel; he knew how much their sexual relationship tore at her. But after seeing her in Naruto's arms, realizing that he could actually lose her this time, that there was a real possibility that she would not come back to him like she had the other times…it made him angry. Why was she fighting this? Couldn't she see, didn't she realize that she was already half in love with him?

"N-no…Neji…you know I…" She whimpered, unsure of what to say and now that his warm hand was brushing her stomach under her shirt, he was making it difficult for her to think.

"You what?" He whispered, as his hand found her breast. Her breath hitched and her body trembled when his thumb stroked her. "You would leave me for him?"

"N-no…don't…understand." She breathed, her eyes closing from the pleasure of his touch. Her free arm wrapped around his shoulder, her hand burying itself in his long hair, as her legs moved restlessly against his own.

"Make me understand Hinata." He said, trailing his lips down her neck, his breath hot on her skin. He kissed her neck gently, fighting against the angry desire within him. But she could feel it, the air around him burned and his body slightly shook.

"Na-Naruto…he…I was…ahhh…" she was rendered speechless, he had let go of her pinned arm only to grab one of her legs to hook it around his waist, pressing down against her hips. His hardness pressed against her throbbing center; desire shot through her, her body knew and anticipated the pleasure he always gave her.

"Naruto what?" he growled harshly, hating his name upon her lips when her voice dripped with sexual lust. But he needed to remind himself; theirs was supposed to be a purely sexual release. He needed to remind himself that he knew what he was getting into when he kissed her for the first time, that he was playing with fire when he had brought her to her first climax. He forced her to think of the blond as Neji brought her physical pleasure, to breathlessly call out Naruto's name this time.

"N-n…Neji." Hinata whispered his name, she was hot all over. She suddenly hated the clothes that separated them, she needed him in her. She moved her hands to undo his shirt but he swatted her hands away. Undeterred, she went straight for his pants; it would not be their first time with most of their clothes on. He had tried to capture her hands again, but she had quickly dipped her hands, grasping him gently. He clenched his teeth, trying not to gasp at her touch; the feelings were always the same when she touched him. He was having difficulty remembering the point in all of this. He pulled away from her, loosening his pants and lowering them while she did the same. She only had only leg out before he came back to her, plunging himself into her without preamble. She moaned against him, trembling.

"Think of him Hinata." He snarled as he pumped into her. "Think of his blond hair, blue eyes, and whiskered face." He ordered, thrust after angry thrust. Hinata could only hold onto him, he was being so rough, so fast. She couldn't understand what he was saying, blond hair? She could only think of the long chocolate locks that her hands were buried in at the moment. Blue eyes? She could only see ivory eyes right now, filled with desire, anger, and pain. Whiskered face? The only markings on the face she thought of were of a green cursed seal. She could only see him, think of him, feel him.

"N-neji…I…I'm gonna…" she panted, lifting a trembling hand to his face. She kept her shaking hand against his cheek as she struggled to look at him. Her breath hitched and she whispered his name as she used all her strength to keep her eyes open, gazing at him as she was sent over the edge. It was so overwhelmingly difficult, but for some reason she had to see his eyes watching her as he brought her body to absolute pleasure.

Her actions and words confused him and yet angered him more. She thought she was always thinking with her heart, but she was actually only thinking with her head. This time, it was Neji whose eye sight was clear and unclouded. She loved him. Not as a cousin, not as a friend, not as a comrade, and not just because he was still the only man to sexually pleasure her. But she purposefully blinded herself to it, refusing to acknowledge it. He had a bigger claim on her heart than she realized.

"He was in pain Neji." Hinata panted, trying to catch her breath, forcing herself to concentrate despite the climax she had just experienced. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him close. "I don't like to see my friends in pain."

Neji closed his eyes and buried his face in her neck, gripping tighter to her legs as his thrusts started to stagger nearly at his limit. He could feel guilt starting to nibble at his consciousness but the heat of her, the friction they created, and the small kisses she was placing on his neck and cheek replaced all thought. He wanted her so much, he never got enough of her. She was so beautiful, her soul even more so.

"Neji, Neji, Neji…" she chanted his name into the air, her whispered voice once again driving him over the edge. He crushed her body against the wood dummy at her back, his mind shattering to pieces as his body poured his essence into her. He found himself collapsing into her, spent emotionally and physically. Her hands continued to stroke his hair as her lips still caressed his face with kisses. Why couldn't she see how much she really loved him?

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AN: Sorry for the long wait, for those of you who reviewed :( And for the short chapters, but I hope you enjoy this one. I wasn't able to go as in depth into Hinata thinking or reasons, but that will have to come later. Sorry for any typos, I reread it to try and catch them, but alas, tis what happens without a beta. Reviews please? They are fuel for the fire of writing.


	3. Chapter II

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or it's characters

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The pain was unsurprisingly sharp and overwhelming, stealing her breath and leaving her feeling numb to everything else. She had always known that there was little hope to capturing his heart and for years all she had really wanted was his acknowledgement. She had believed that her love was unconditional and selfless. But hope, wonderful and terrible hope had burned in her heart during the war. He had gripped her hand after she had lightly slapped him, and told her how much her support had helped him over the years. She couldn't stop the hope that had blossomed in her heart, was he finally going to give her a chance?

_Hinata, you know you are a very special person to me right? I want you to know that I didn't forget what you had said to me when you tried to rescue me from Pain. It really means a lot to me, that you care so much about me. And I care for you too, but…I'm sorry…I can't return your feelings._ The small smile on her face remained but she felt herself crack inside, she could not fall apart in front of him. He was trying to let her down gently, and part of her was grateful for that. She had turned her face away and slowly breathed in through her nose and exhaled out of her mouth. She has gone through pain before, she could handle this.

_You know how I've always felt about Sakura right? She…well…she finally said yes to me. I want to tell you because I don't want you to be surprised when…if you see us._ She could almost hear it…the crack inside her spreading, shattering her. _You are still a very special friend to me Hinata, and it hurts me to know I'm causing you pain. I'm sorry._ 'Congratulations Naruto,' she heard her voice say with fake cheerfulness, 'I hope you and Sakura-chan are very happy together. You deserve to be happy Naruto-kun.'

The next thing she knew she was in her room, her eyes darting side to side in panic, she didn't want to fall apart. She paced across her room quickly, her breathing steadily increasing. No, no, no, she could handle this…he was right; she always knew how he felt about Sakura. It wasn't news to anyone, he was steadfast with his feelings, never letting go of them…it was one of the things that attracted her. So this pain…she could take, she'll be alright. Nothing will change, Naruto still holds her precious in his heart, a special friend…something she's always been. He acknowledged her, that's all that matters right? That's all she wanted, to finally walk beside him, instead of chasing him. Yes, that's all she wanted, that's all that mattered.

She had been so preoccupied with her thoughts that she never heard the knocking at her door. She had almost gasped with surprise when she had turned around to find Neji standing in her room. She froze, there was no emotion on his face like usual and his eyes denied the gazer from seeing his mind or heart, but there was an air about him. He stood there silently in front of her. It wasn't until she tasted salt in her mouth did she realize that tears had fallen from her eyes, and it wasn't until then that she realized he knew…he knew and was waiting for the storm to overtake her.

Her strength was tearing away from her, not cut clean leaving her pleasantly numb, but ripping away. She could feel each thread pop and tear, shredding her heart with unbearable pain. With a silent and soft sob she felt herself collapse onto the floor, ignoring him as her mind knew nothing except the pain. She hardly noticed when he crouched down in front of her and picked her up into his arms, carrying her to her bed. But when he sat down, still holding her, she heard him whisper, 'Cry Hinata, cry.' And with that, the dam inside of her broke completely. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his shoulder as she cried loudly, giving voice to the pain in her heart, reflecting the torrent of emotions lacerating her mind and soul.

All her life she had never been good enough, why? WHY?! Why was she always lacking?! Why couldn't things be easy for once? Was that too much to ask from life? She worked hard at everything she did, she did her best to always be positive and encouraging, why was it so difficult to attain love? She had been denied love from her father throughout her childhood, she had been denied love from her mother when she had passed away, she had been denied love from Neji after his father died, she had been denied love from friends until she graduated from the Academy and put on a genin team, and she had been denied love from the one she had admired the most in life. Was she so undesirable? She knew that her looks were plain and boring, but was she so ugly on the inside that no one wanted the heart she offered them?

She cried harder, never feeling so alone before and so unwanted. The more the pain crushed her heart the tighter she clutched her arms, even momentarily forgetting the arms that were holding her. She cried and cried and cried until there was absolutely nothing left. She felt like an empty shell, a body with no soul. Hollow. She didn't know how long she sat in blessed numbness, it felt like hours. But slowly, she started to notice the beating of a heart…a heart that didn't belong to her. Her mind almost tickled as it starting to think again, remembering a time in the hospital…a time when something secret was willingly revealed to her…a time that shocked her so much that she didn't know what to do with the knowledge so she had locked it away, nearly forgetting about it. Until now.

His arms were still wrapped tightly around her shoulders, holding her close to him. Not once did he let her go. She closed her eyes and sighed feeling her raw wounds being soothed slightly at feeling the warmth he provided. She was not alone; he was with her, even when he hated her he had been beside her. She was lacking in his eyes once, but not anymore. She had done nothing to earn his feelings, or his support. She wanted to thank him, she was grateful to have him in her life. He always looked out for her, guiding her, teaching her, supporting her. She didn't deserve any of it, but she was so grateful for it.

She had shifted her face, too exhausted to move too much, her lips dragging along his skin as she tried to get her voice to work. But he had suddenly stiffened in her arms, the air between them slowly changed; she could feel the beating in her chest begin to increase. Unwilling to think about what she was going to do or what they were going to mean, she continued to press her lips to his neck, brushing his skin up to his chin. He pulled away from her and the pain that was just starting to sooth started to throb again. She just wanted to be close to him, she didn't want to be alone.

'I k-know what I'm asking of you i-isn't fair, but…' but what? What was she going to say? Was she really going to drag him down into her dark world? She truly must be ugly on the inside to do such a thing to him, after he nearly lost his life saving hers.

'I can't love you like I love him.' she whispered to him softly, she had never really did give him an answer…though he had never asked her in the first place. It was a pathetic apology for her selfish actions and the cruel words she had said. Never had she hated herself more. He remained silent and unmoving…he must be realizing just how mean she truly was on the inside. She must have shocked him and now she had just made her only ally her enemy once again.

'But you're not asking for love, are you Hinata?' His deep voice asked, she didn't understand what he was saying. She finally looked up, her confusion in her eyes, but he pulled her back into his arms and whispered in her ear, 'And I am not expecting any.'

Her questions momentarily vanished, his lips on her ear causing her body to tremble. All she could think of was how he was close to her again, she was back in his arms again, and that she always wanted those arms to be around her. She wrapped her arms around him and lifted her face, this time she knew what would happen and what it would mean. But for the first time in her life, she didn't want to care. She let her soft lips cling to his firm ones, giving him the gift of her first kiss, mimicking his movements as best she could. The desire didn't shoot through her like lightening, instead it was slow moving like the beginning of an avalanche. But as he continued to kiss her, awakening her passion, like an avalanche it started to overwhelm her.

She wasn't close enough to him anymore; she needed to be closer much closer to him. The kiss was not enough, not nearly enough. She slowly pulled away from the kiss and looked up at him, pleading with her eyes for him to understand. 'Neji…I…I want…could we…' she couldn't finish, she was so embarrassed. She was so new to this and she was fairly certain that he was not like her, inexperienced.

'Lie down.' He said softly, she shivered in anticipation as she did what he said. She watched him slowly follow after her before lowering himself on top of her, she gasped in surprise at the feeling of his weight pressing down on her. Yes, this is what she wanted. She kissed him hungrily, her passion surprising them both. But he didn't back down, he didn't turn away from her, he stayed with her. Part of her couldn't believe this was happening, but those thoughts quickly left her when he gently pulled her chin down and kissed her deeply, tangling his tongue with hers.

Passion burned throughout her body like a raging fire and a small ache started between her legs, making her restless. Her thirst started to become insatiable; he tasted so good, felt so good. Without breaking their deep kiss, she felt around until her hand found his, leading it down until it rested on top of her breast. To her surprise and embarrassment, he stopped and pulled away, looking down at her. She turned her face away, feeling her cheeks heat up to a bright red, slowly letting go of his hand. She bit her lip in shame when his hand left her breast, did he not want to touch her? Did he realize that he didn't want her after all?

'Look at me Hinata.' He told her, she shut her eyes tightly unwilling to listen to him, but when he remained silent, waiting, she relented. Steeling herself for the look of disgust in his eyes, she turned her head to face him. His eyes held hesitancy as he brought his hand up to unzip her jacket. Relief flooded her mind; he was not disgusted with her. Sitting up, she smiling shyly, he always thought of her. She understood his hesitancy, but she was no longer an ignorant and naïve little girl. She was a woman and she knew just how far things could go between them. Was she willing to change the relationship they had now? But…they had gone through so much together already…how much damage could this do to them?

He had paused once he had unzipped her jacket, giving her time to think, to reconsider, but she was now resolute. Sitting up, she took her jacket off completely, tossing somewhere on the floor. She debated on what to do next, before lifting her arms straight up in the air, a small smile playing about her lips. 'Help?'

He lifted his brow at her antics, but smirked when he grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up over her head. She bit her lip and looked away again, as she unclasped her bra, but kept her chest covered with her arm when she lowered the piece of clothing on the floor. She trembled when she felt his hand on her wrist, knowing that he was going to pull her arm away.

'Please…d-don't look.' Heat flooded her face when he successfully pulled her arms away, keeping them firmly in his grasp. He lifted her arms above her head and pressed her back down, pinning her hands into one of his own. She kept her eyes shut, but then felt his lips brush her own.

'You're beautiful Hinata.' He told her softly.

'Liar.' She whispered back, but unable to hold back the gasp at the feel of his warm hand upon her breast.

'I have never lied to you.' He said trailing lips across her face and down her neck.

'But…'

'And I will never lie to you.' He continued, stroking his thumb against her nipple. The small ache between her legs suddenly became a painful throb as her heart slammed against her chest.

'B-but…'

'Do you still need proof?' he chuckled, nipping his teeth at her neck.

'Y-yes.' She whimpered, as he continued his administrations on her breast. But at her response, he paused. Opening her eyes with confusion, his eyes suddenly were no longer void of emotion. They burned with an intense passion when he suddenly pressed his hips down on hers, his hardness against her throbbing center. She couldn't stop her body from arching against him nor the groan that burst from her mouth at the pleasure that shot through her like lightening. Nothing had ever felt so good. Something had suddenly been unleashed inside of her; she felt her shyness burn up leaving passion and boldness in its wake.

She impatiently tore at his shirt needing to feel her skin against his, even when all of their clothes were scattered on the floor, she didn't pause. She purposefully distracted her mind from anything besides the pleasure of his touch, the feel of his pounding heart, the sound of her name on his lips. She nodded her head and kissed him gently, sweetly, when he paused again, and for the last time. She wanted this, wanted him.

The pain was not unbearable, not compared to the pain she was feeling earlier. She was too eager for this for the pain to last long, her body too willing to his invasion. Yet her mind paused for a moment, he was no longer just with her, he was in her. Neji was _in_ her. Tears slowly gathered in her eyes, she wasn't alone, she wasn't unwanted. Neji was telling her, showing her, demonstrating to her just how wrong she was…her heart throbbed painfully in her chest. She had never been more grateful to him than now.

When he started to move, once again, all of her thoughts completely vanished. He didn't allow her to catch her breath as he kissed her neck, massaged her breasts, and plunged into her quickly. She could hardly marvel at all the things he could do at once when a tidal wave started to bear down on her. The tension coiled around her spine, she found herself panting, a short moan for each of his thrusts. Her body trembled as she held onto him tightly, as much as she wanted to tumble over the edge, she was scared. She couldn't think but she knew that if this continued she would lose absolutely all control of herself.

'N-Neji…w-wait…ahh…I…I c-can't…ahh…I…'

'It's…ok…Hinata.' He whispered to her without stopping, 'Just…let go…let go…of…everything.'

_I have never lied to you…and I will never lie to you…it's ok._ His words echoed through her mind. She buried her face in his neck as she gave into her body, crying out as she drowned in wave after wave of pleasure, shocking her mind into nothing except the heat. It took several moments to for her to realize that Neji was still gripping her legs tightly as he continued to pound into her. She gasped softly at each remaining pulse of her inner muscles and noticed that he would hiss at the same time.

'Let…me…hear…you voice.' He pleaded, his voice rough and deep. Catching on to his rhythm and allowing his hands to guide her hips, she pulled his head down to her shoulder, letting her lips caress his ear.

'Neji, I…that felt…amazing.' She admitted, feeling embarrassed. He hissed again as his rhythm started to stagger, his movements becoming rougher.

'You...you feel so good inside.' He groaned as his body suddenly became rigid above her, gasping when she felt him climax into her before collapsing on top of her.

* * *

Hinata gazed up at her ceiling, thinking back to that first time, remembering how torn her heart was when she had made the decision to change her relationship with Neji. She had not thought about the future, about what it would do to them both, or when it would end. She had tried to put a stop to their sexual encounters, and he was always willing, complying with her wishes. But then she would wake up almost every night with wetness between her thighs and her center throbbing painfully as memories of how he would touch her, kiss her, send her on the most pleasurable climaxes. It would have been so much easier to deny the urges if she didn't know how good he could make her feel.

But every time afterwards, she would be filled with shame. She was using him, plain and simple. He made her feel wanted, beautiful, loved. He gave her exactly what she wanted from him, but what did she give him in return? He never asked for her heart, always willing to take what she gave him…a body. But what was the point of having a body without a heart, without a soul? So then…in actuality…she gave him nothing.

Tears slowly slide down and soaked the hair at her temples as she thought about what happened today. The look Neji had given her when she comforted Naruto, the questions, the accusations he flung at her as he took her in the training field. He had apologized afterwards, but he had nothing to apologize about. He had asked if she would leave him for Naruto and she had side-stepped the question. She knew he let it go on purpose because they both knew what her answer would have been. If Naruto wanted her, truly wanted her…she probably would leave Neji. And she hated herself for it.

She wished Neji would leave her; realize that he deserves someone better than a woman like her. She pretended to be good when deep down she was the worst person ever. People thought she was nice and thoughtful, but Neji knew differently. He knows what a bad person she is, how selfish she is…why couldn't he see that she was no good for him? He should just find someone else…give his heart to someone else…make love to someone else. Suddenly Hinata turned and slammed her fist into her mattress, burying her face into her pillow.

"I hate you! I hate you! You're so mean! You're so horribly selfish! I hate you!" she screamed as tears streamed down her face. She would leave him for Naruto but the thought of Neji with another woman…it made her sick to her stomach. Why did she feel jealous when she didn't love him like he wanted her to? Why couldn't she just love him like she should? Why can't she just fall in love with Neji?

* * *

AN: Again sorry it took a while to update. It took me forever to figure out how to write her perspective and what she was/is thinking having a type of 'friends with benefits' relationship with Neji. I hope it comes across that she's as 'broken' as Neji is and that this relationship they have is kinda both their own doing...not just Hinata using Neji. Well, I tried my best at least. The next chapter won't take as long to update since I have it almost finished. But please leave me a little lovin' and I'll do my best to reward you guys with my writing. Much love to my reviewers Nanda Magnail, MakaMaka, anon, Aurora Noir, queenofthenial, princess p, the guest who left me a review for my prologue, embrace the darkness within, Fool on the Hill Far Far Away, and magarni. Thank you so much for your support!


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